My Hero! (The Spider Slayer)
by WaterNymph125
Summary: When Mary Margaret finds a spider in her bathroom, she asks David to take care of it for her. Only problem is, David is scared of spiders too! What will he do?


Disclaimer: I don't have anything to do with Once Upon A Time!

Hope you enjoy!

"CHARMING!" David leapt from his chair and ran into the bathroom where Mary Margaret was, hearing the panic in her voice. "Snow? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

He searched her eyes, his concern obvious.

"Over there."

He followed her gaze and saw it. The biggest spider he had ever seen. Snow backed up against him as it started to move around on the far bathroom wall.

Now, David wasn't scared of much. He had battled Bo Peep and her guards, fought hundreds of swordfights with The Evil Queen and her guards, and fought for his family many times. But spiders, spiders he did not like. Snow hated them though, so he always pretended that it he was fine with them, but this, this was a spider that was bigger than his hand, and he definitely wasn't fine with that.

"Snow", he breathed, not taking his eyes of the monstrosity on the wall. He nodded almost imperceptibly at the door. "Go into the kitchen and close the door behind you." Snow nodded, too shocked and scared to form words.

Once she was safely out, David had a very quiet meltdown. " ?Itsmassive! Ihatespiders! They'retheworst! Idon'tknowwhattodo!"

"Maybe I should phone Emma!"

Just as he was typing in her number, he remembered she and Hook were having a romantic weekend, and were only to be disturbed in an emergency. He didn't like the idea of what they would be doing together. He remembered what she had told him right before she left, once Hook had walked out.

"Leroy complaining that Granny won't let him have beer in her diner is not an emergency. If Leroy ends up behind bars for the seventh time this week, is not an emergency. If something happens to Henry, call me."

"Honey, what about me and your mom?"

Emma turned and tossed her blond hair over her shoulder.

"Not an emergency."

At the shocked look on David's face, she laughed and replied, "If it's a real emergency, call me, but you guys can handle yourselves!"

"So Emma's out of the question. Maybe Regina? Or Gold?" They probably aren't scared of spiders, but Regina would never let me hear the end of it and Gold would probably turn me into a spider for asking him!"

He sat down on the end of the bathtub to think, positioning himself as far away from the spider as possible.

"Now, think David! Who can help you?"

He sighed and put his head in his hands trying to think. He sat like that for a minute. Suddenly, his head popped up, but when it did, the spider was crawling along the edge of the bath, about a flying monkey's tail length away. He yelped and jumped up.

"It's a wonder Snow hasn't heard me yet!" he thought to himself. "Dammit! I forgot what I was going to do! I'm going to have to call Emma. He grimaced at the thought. "Now, how do I get Snow out so Emma can come in? If I phone Ruby, she could take her out shopping!  
He quickly dialled Ruby's number.

"Ruby? Hi it's David. I think something's up with Snow, do you mind coming round and taking her out shopping or something? I think it would help."

"Yeah, of course! What do you think is wrong with her?"

"I don't know, you try and find out for me, ok?"

"Ok... When do you want me over?"

"Now!" David said, frantically searching the bathroom for the monstrosity that was within it. "Phew," he thought to himself. "Back on the far wall."

"Now, would really be great, Ruby," he said into the telephone. "Do you mind?"

"No problem," she answered, suspicion evident in her voice. "Give me two minutes, I'm just at Granny's," she said, and hung up.

And, just as she said, two minutes later there was a knock at the door.

"Snow?" He called.

"Yes?" He heard her soft answer.

"I forgot to tell you, Ruby's taking you shopping now. Archie wanted her to go out with you, he thinks somethings up with her, so don't act too happy, it might upset her," he called through the door, praying that she'd fall for it.

"Oh, ok! I'll be back later, honey! Bye!"

And with that, she ran out the door to greet Ruby.

As soon as David heard the front door close, he rang Emma. It rang for a few seconds.

"Come on, come on, please pick up!" He thought to himself. Suddenly, the line connected.

"David?! What's wrong with Henry!?" She exclaimed into the phone.

"Emma, calm down, nothings wrong with Henry," he said quickly, not wanting to worry her.

"Then why did you phone me? I gave you specific instru-"

She was cut off, and he could hear Killian's muffled voice distantly through the phone.

"Swan? Come on, the waters running, and I want to.."

"Killian! My dad's on the phone!" She said quickly, effectively shutting him up.

"Hook!" David bellowed through the phone. "You better not do anything to my daughter! I'm too young to be a grandpa!"

"Dad, relax, he's not doing anything, and what are you on about, you're already a grandpa!"

"To who?" Said David, sounding confused.

"To Henry!" Shouted Emma. "The person that was supposed to be the only reason you phoned me!"

"Ah, yeah, about that, I need your help."

"With what?" Emma scoffed.

"There's a monster in your mothers' bathroom."

"What?!"

"Yeah. So can you come here and sort it out? You know, since you're the saviour and all."

"Yeah," said Emma, sighing dejectedly.

"I'll be back in a minute, Killian. Keep the water running?" He heard her say.

"Aye, love," Killian answered.

"I'll be there in a minute, Dad," she said, and hung up.

Almost as soon as she had hung up, a purple whirlwind of smoke appeared in front of him, and left Emma behind.

"Wha- what?" He stammered.

"Magic, Dad," She said, grinning at the expression on his face. "Now, where's this monster," she asked, spinning on her heel, then turning back to him.

"Well," David started.

"Dad…." Emma said, warningly.  
"It's more of a spider than a monster," he admitted, scratching his chin.

"Oh my God," Emma said, realisation spreading across her features. "Prince Charming is scared of spiders!" She burst out laughing.

"I'm still going to kill you, for ruining my weekend, but I might as well deal with it while I'm here," she said, gesturing to the room.

"Where is it?" She asked.

"Over there," David replied, his eyes glued to the back wall, where the spider was crawling about like an over excited baby.

Emma took a step back upon seeing it. "Holy Crap!" She exclaimed. "That's a- Wow! That's a big spider!" She muttered.

"You know what," she said, turning to David.

"Why don't we let Killian deal with this?"

He nodded his head, looking relieved.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said, then poofed herself away again.

Emma looked around the living room of the house where she and Killian were staying for the weekend.

"Killian?" She called, her voice echoing throughout the house. "Hook!" She yelled. "I need your help!"

He raced out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped round his waist, running towards her. "What's wrong, Swan?" He asked, checking her over for injuries and then checking the room for hidden assailants. Emma cocked her head at him.

"You'd do anything to protect me, right?" She asked him.

"Of course, love," he said, watching her concernedly. "Why?"

"I need your help. And you need clothes!" She laughed. She used her magic to dress him in his usual attire, and brought them both back to David in the bathroom.

"Swan?" Killian questioned, looking around confusedly.

"Get rid of that," she demanded, pointing to the wall behind him.

He turned around, and jumped out of his skin.

"Bloody hell!" He exclaimed, walking backwards until he was in line with Emma and David, against the opposite wall.

"Can't someone else do it?" He begged, turning to Emma.

By now, Emma was nearly crying with laughter. "So, Prince Charming, and Captain Hook are afraid of spiders!" She laughed.

"Don't forget, love, so's the saviour!" Killian muttered.

"Why don't we phone The Queen?" He suggested.

"Yeah, sure, why not," said David, retrieving his phone from his pocket.

10 minutes later, Regina was standing in the bathroom with them. She addressed them all. "You are all utterly ridiculous! It's just a spider!" She said.

Killian tapped her on the shoulder, gesturing behind her.

She turned around. "Oh my God!" She cried, jumping back beside the rest of them. "That is a huge spider!"

"Great!" David groaned. "So, what do we do know?!"

"I doubt Gold's afraid of spiders," Emma said slowly.

"True," replied Regina, "But how on earth are we going to get him over here?"

"What if," started Killian, "we lure his fair maiden here, and have her call him? He'll come running if he thinks she's in danger!"

"Great idea, Pirate!" Regina said. "Surprisingly."

David whipped out his phone, and called Belle.

"What do you want, Dearie? Belle and I are rather occupied at the moment." Came the sharp answer down the line.

"Gold?" David said in surprise.

He heard a quiet voice on the other side.

"Rumple! Give me my phone!"

He heard the phone being passed over.

"Pause the movie, Rumple."

The background noise stopped suddenly.

"Hello? David?"

"Hi, Belle!" He said brightly.

"What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could come over? I need some help, with uh," he looked around frantically.

"Books!" Mouthed Emma.

"Uh, choosing a book for Mary Margaret's birthday."

"Yeah, of course! I'd be happy to help! When do you want me to come over?"

"Uh, how about now?"

"Now? Umm, sure, I'll be over in a bit," she said, then hung up.

Belle stood up from her place on the sofa, and un-curled herself from Rumples' arms. "I have to go help David, I'll be back in a bit."

"What could the Prince possibly need that is so urgent," he complained.

Belle slipped on her heels, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and walked out of the house.

Soon enough, she was also standing in the bathroom with the others.

"That's a-" She swallowed. "That's a big spider," she said nervously. "Why am I here?" She asked.

"Well, we thought that if you were here, and phoned Rumpelstiltskin saying that you need his help, he'd come running, and would get rid of the spider," Killian explained.

"Ok…" Belle replied slowly. "Who has a phone I can use?"

"Wait, you mean you'll do it?" Said Emma.

"Yeah, sure! That thing shouldn't be inside Storybrooke walls," she said, grimacing.

And, for the fifth time that day, David took out his phone, and handed it to Belle.

The rest of them stood in silence, and Belle put the phone on speaker, then placed it on the small cabinet in the bathroom. The phone rang a few times.

"What do you want, Mr Nolan? You've already stolen my wife from my arms, what more could you possibly want?" Gold all but growled into the phone.

"Rumple?" Belle cried, the perfect amount of panic in her voice. "Rumple, I need your help, quickly!"

"Belle?" They heard him cry down the phone. "Sweetheart, are you, are you hurt? What's wrong? Belle!"

"Hurry Rumple, please, I need you!" And then she hung up.

"Belle!" Gold roared.

He knew she was with David, so he poofed himself to the small flat.

"Belle!" He shouted.

"That was quick," Regina murmured.

"In here, Rumple!" Belle called.  
He burst into the small bathroom, which was already overcrowded, and pulled Belle into his arms, holding her tight, glaring at everyone else.

"What do you idiots want from me, seeing you forced my wife into helping you get me here?" He growled at them.

All five of them, including Belle, pointed to the spider on the wall.

"Oh for God's sake," he said, turning to them.

"You are the biggest bunch of children I have ever met. Who all's here? Prince Charming, Captain Hook, The Evil Queen, the Saviour, and my charming wife, and not one of you could deal with a spider? Really?!"

"Gold, can you please get rid of it," David begged.

"Uh, no, I don't think I will, since you stole my wife, and then tricked me into coming here," he said, an impish grin on his face.

"Rumple," Belle reprimanded gently.

"Fine."

He clicked his fingers, and the spider dropped from the wall, and a cuddly toy spider fell into the bath below. Then he clicked his fingers again, and he and Belle disappeared.

"Phew!" Sighed David. "I guess you can all go home now," he said, glancing round sheepishly.

Later that evening, when Mary Margaret returned from her shopping excursion, she entered the bathroom cautiously, and glanced around.

"You got rid of it?" She said, her eyes wide.

"Of course I did, silly! Spiders don't scare me!" David grinned, pulling her back to the couch with him.

Mary Margaret turned to face him. "My hero," She said, smiling at him.

"Now, just never ever let Snow see Gold again," he thought to himself.

Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think and leave a review, please!


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